OMG! Another post!

Apparently I'm not dead after all.

For those of you who are unaware (not that it matters, since noone actually reads this anyway), I recently (like yesterday) started law school. I've been counting the times that I've heard "This will be unlike anything else you've ever done" in the past week, and I think I'm somewhere around 38 right now. So apparently it will be different. From everything else I've ever done. So that's something.

Sadly, this transition has forced me to relocate to a new town, so there will no longer be any observational witticisms about my dear Baltimore. At least not on a regular basis. But who am I kidding, I never even wrote regularly while I lived there, so I guess it won't be much different! Still, I will miss Bawlmer, and I will take copious notes (Connie!) during each return visit so that my particular brand of observational humor may live on, in blog form.

So, in the interest of keeping things relevant to my present status, I will likely be writing about legal issues as they arise in my life. Now, don't get me wrong, this will not be your average, run-of-the-mill legal blog. There are plenty of those, and I am sure they are far better than mine. No, I have a different goal in mind, a level of brilliance that has only been attained by none other than Bob Loblaw himself. That's right, I'm referring to the incomparable Bob Loblaw Law Blog, which you can check out for yourself right here.

In addition to discussing various legal issues of importance to the youth of today, I will also be keeping a running tally of the number of espresso shots that I consume during law school, both for personal statistical purposes (I need something of note to put on my personal trading card) and also to illustrate the sheer foolishness of buying a goddamn cup of coffee EVERY DAMN DAY when you could not only save a HUGE amount of waste but also save yourself a ton of cash just by buying a quality coffee or espresso machine up front. Now, not to get off on a tangent here, but seriously, do you need to buy a cup of coffee every day? Does it not occur to you that that shit adds up? Sure, maybe it's only $2 if you're one of the people that just gets a regular coffee, but they are few and far between these days. More often than not you see the yupster douchebag with the overinflated sense of self worth dropping $4.50 on a double-skinny-half-caf-venti-caramel-soy-macchiato, and he's probably yapping away on his bluetooth while he's ordering it. Fuck.

So, in hopes of helping others avoid this pitfall, and also in hopes of having a tangible method of conveying my awesomeness to all (none) of you, I will be keeping a running tally of my espresso beverages consumed, with the hopes of justifying the purchase of my totally baller espresso machine. Here's the breakdown so far:

Initial purchase of machine: $230 (the amount that must be offset)

Average price for pound of coffee: $13 (no Folgers here)
Number of shots per pound (at 7 grams per shot): ~65

So, rounding up costs, even while using top shelf beans, I'm still coming in at ~$0.20 per shot. Compared to the price of a single shot at Starbucks ($0.50, which I'm using as a benchmark), I'm coming in at less than half. I'm also omitting the cost of water, since $0.02 for a gallon of tap water hardly seems worth the trouble.

Now, I haven't been keeping track of every shot I've had since I purchased my machine back in February, but it's a safe bet that I've consumed 200 shots since then (and I would venture to guess substantially more, as I really only drink doubles). For the sake of argument, I'll go with 200. Had I purchased each shot at Starbucks (or at just about any other coffee shop, as the standard price for an espresso shot seems to be about 50 cents, although 75 cents or even $1 is not uncommon), it would have cost me $100. But, given the breakdown above, I've only spent $40, thus making a total savings thus far of $60. This may not seem like much, but when the convenience of having killer espresso on demand without having to expend gasoline to get it is considered, the advantage of this method begins to manifest itself. And when the (hopeful) environmental impact of one less paper cup and one less plastic lid added to a landfill EVERY DAY is added to the equation, the advantage is clear. Responsibility has never been so delicious.

So, the total shots for law school thus far, beginning on 8/24/2008: 15

Total count: 215

Starbucks cost: $107.50
Actual cost: $43.00
Savings: $64.50

$230-64.50= Only $165.50 left to justify machine. I'm pretty sure I can knock that out before second semester.

In closing, I leave you with this, which I find to be a remarkably accurate summation of my first day of law school. Enjoy.

Welcome to Law School.