I don't think it's a double entendre...

Last night as I was driving home from work, I happened to end up behind a tractor trailer with what I can only assume was it's corporate name / logo emblazoned upon the back of the trailer. The name was Semi-Express. I immediately laughed to myself, because it seems like that's not the name I would choose for my trucking company if my goal was to win customers based on the expedience of my deliveries. Granted, perhaps the person or committee who chose the name did so because of their use of tractor trailers (known in the biz as 'semi trailers') to make their deliveries, but I prefer to think that they were subtly hinting at their rather lax stance on speed as an important factor in delivering goods.

The Science Fair Projects You Wish You Had Done...

Whew. Definitely almost peed myself as I read through these. Most are so-so, but there are a few winners tucked away in there. It's hard to say for certain, as I'm not a teacher and am fairly certain that I could never be one, but I'm not sure that I would be very enthusiastic about two of my students preparing a presentation titled "Crystal Meth: Friend or Foe." Granted, I would probably be glad that they were at least trying something original rather than rehashing the old baking soda volcano for the billionth time, but I'm not so sure that I would really want to encourage two 13 year old girls to be conducting meth research. Of course, it looks like the two of them may have been basing their project on some past experience anyway, so maybe it's a moot point.

Next we come to Mr. "Drop It Like It's Hot," whose project I can only assume has something to do with human response to painful stimuli (the nociceptive system, in case you were wondering). He appears to have something on a plate, which perhaps was heated at some point. Pizza? Pasta? Horribly executed taco? Regardless, pathetic as it is, it's always good to include a prop of some sort. But more important than that, even, is the rule that our friend here is following to a tee: Keep It Real, Dogg. Can't you just picture this kid completely owning the hallways at his school? Swanky red blazer, closely-cropped fro, laid-back chillaxin' expression, and best of all, the slightly cocked thumbs up that just screams "Bitch, please." Love it.

A brief but necessary nod goes to the two fellows whose cunning wit had me in stitches. When I first read their presentation title, I saw "Global Warming." "Hmm," I thought to myself, "this should be interesting." But no sooner had this thought escaped my brain then I encountered a subheading that read "Yeah Right!" Boom! They got me! I was all "Global warming is real," but then they were all "No, it's not!" Oh, mercy. My comeuppance is complete. Fortunately, I can take solace that within a few years, these two comedic geniuses will have evolved into full-fledged club rats like these jokers here:
There are some other winners interspersed, particularly the sweater on the kid dropping "The Code of the Meniscus" and the best band name ever, "The Ideal Pancreas." Check 'em out.

41 Hilarious Science Fair Experiements

Suspicion Confirmed

I am a terrible blogger, just as my mother told me I would be. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Regardless, I'm trying to do better. Even though I haven't written in 2 months, I've been gathering material, so hopefully there will be a slew of fresh nonsense decorating the bucket in the coming days. Until then, I leave you with the piece of magnificence below:



Keywords: Dope, Funky Fresh, Flossin'